Grumbling in the 2020s

Hello internet,

Today was the first day of Summer classes. A quick rundown of how things went.

8am-Modern Solitier literature: 37 people in the class including 4 people who need to stop dressing for the job they want and start dressing for the class they have, 10 people with glasses that need cleaning, 3 people who I found no fault with and myself… and anyone who knows me can list my issues.

10am- Ecology: I sat next to Roger who sat next to Alice who sat next to another guy who was on my no fault list from my lit. class. The class is only forty eight steps from the broken vending machine that will sometimes dispense two bags of chips for the price of one if you hold the C4 button for exactly 22 seconds. I don’t know what the teacher was talking about half the time because her accent is thick and not one that I understand. It keeps thing challenging.

1pm- Chemistry 101: This is what is called a weeder class. Almost 400 students are crammed into one giant lecture hall and a TA stands up front and speeds through a slide show that would be much better if the lights were off and everyone had glow in the dark cocktails. Luckily, the info was familiar and I’m not terribly worried about passing the class so I started a chart of every student and when I think they are going to stop showing up to class. I’m hoping to take bets and generates some pocket money off of the odds. Is that illegal in Solíteir?

The only class I haven’t had yet is Data Analysis. Still don’t really know what it is but I’ll find out at 9:15 tomorrow morning. I’ve added my study schedule to my planner and I don’t think it’s going to last as a great place for a to-do list because I tend to not do the things that I write on my list and then I need more and more space. So stay tuned for total panic when I lose track of my study schedule or assignments. Should be about two weeks from now if every class I’ve ever taken in my life before now is any indication.

All my Love,

Inga

Sunday May 6th

Hello Friends,

I finally made it through the first half of Landon’s Balls. All I can say is WTF!

The documentary follows Landon Parker when he was turning 20 and hosting what were traditional courtship balls. (Think Cinderella but like five of them.) He was supposed to find a wife by hosting a handful of parties? (He should have considered raising goats instead.) Apparently, his mom, Queen Cathy Parker, arranged for a documentary crew to follow him and his friends around for a few months during this whole process in an attempt to improve the family image because they had struggled with Landon not presenting as a worthy successor to the monarchy.

But why follow a dorky prince who plays more computer games than anyone else I’ve ever seen when you can also follow all the other young adults who lived and worked at the manor. It started benignly enough but then DRAMA!

Sarah, who had been chosen to represent the lady of the manor since the real lady of the manor was in rehab, was a laundry maid and in her last year of school at the manor and was dating James. She attended the ball and hit it off with Landon but only as friends. However, James saw them laughing and giggling when Landon escorted Sarah back to her dorm after the party was over.  He thought that Sarah would have a better life if she married Landon instead of him. So instead of proposing, James dumped her.

All of this happened within the first 48 hours of Landon arriving at the manor and things didn’t really calm down from there on out. Landon’s best friend, knocked up Sarah’s best friend, James slowly descended into madness as he isolated himself from everyone he knew at the manor who were disappointed that he dumped Sarah. Sarah became increasingly frustrated because she didn’t have a plan after she graduated because the original plan was to get married and move to the city where James was going to do graduate work.

I’m half way through and I can’t wait to find out what happens next. Especially since James has already gotten two traffic tickets and his car has practically become a character because of the time he spends talking and cursing at it. How the heck did a documentary crew manage to catch so much drama? There had to have been dozens of cameramen just running around after everyone trying to catch every little detail.

The first disc ends with Landon having just arranged to end the Eastern Sequestration and unite all of Solíteir under one rule. Which is insane. How does a 21 year old who played the lost mines of Moria more than he sleeps manage to unite two countries that have been feeding for over a century? The camera crew didn’t capture the exact moment on film but Landon and his best friend did a dramatic reenactment and about half the words were beeped out! There were two your-momma jokes and the whole conversation only lasted about 90 seconds. Insane!

Anyways, the second disc only follows like the last 48 hours of the balls or something but apparently it’s enough drama to fill a feature film. I don’t have time to watch it for a few days but you bet your fine booty that you will get a blow by blow action packed review as soon as I get around to it. I do think it would make a fun drinking game to take a shot any time James is shown to be a horrible driver and then you have to chug every time he is reprimanded for it. You would get so blitzed.

Anyways, this concludes my highly scientific review of whether or not Prince James is purposefully a bad driver to try and maintain the spotlight or if he really just sucks at driving. I will need to talk to him in person for my final conclusion. Tomorrow, I’m working right after lunch and I James will probably stop by sometime this week to argue his ticket (like he always does). I’m going to try and make sure I’m the one who processes his defense this time. I’ve got a good shot.

Anyways, I need to go to sleep before I fall asleep and you just get a post of nothing but Lassssskkkkkkkkkkkkkkjfak;sad;klasdkjlfs;lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll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You know what I mean.

Love and miss you all.

Inga

Hello Friends and Miscellaneous

I have the best brother in the whole world! First, he read my blog post about how messed up the whole calendar is over here. Second, he actually read the whole thing which is no small task. Third, he took what he learned from this post and applied it to a care package!!!!!! (Who doesn’t love getting mail?) Mike was in Damsca for a work thing (I assume because there was no letter attached) and went to the largest stationary store and apparently just went on a shopping spree.

So I’m trying something new that I saw another blogger do a few weeks ago. An unboxing post!

Without further ado-my care package.

It was very shiny. I had trouble taking a picture without my face in it because the two hundred layers of tape reflected the light from my desk lamp.

The first thing I see is a month’s worth of breakfast. Yum…health food… (*She thought to herself sarcastically.*)

Under that was the true health food! COFFEE!!!

And tropical trail mix. I can deal with that, tropical fruit is hard to come by because I don’t think the people are used to good flavored yet.

But as soon as you get past the health food, it was all chocolate truffles, stickers, page markers and more fun!

My favorite items were the blue notebook, the new fine liner pens, and  a blank calendar! You can see in the bottom picture that one of the sticker books (the one with the suns on it) is filled with numbers and day stickers so I can make a calendar that has Solíteir dates on it as well as global standard dates!

I attempted to take a picture of everything but this was my best shot. Damn it Mike, I’m a student not a photographer.

Thank you so much for the care package! It will make my school year far more fun and colorful since Solíteir doesn’t have much in the way of fun stationery supplies. They don’t even have much variety for Grumbling Journals. (The free journals that the temple give out are the kraft paper covered ones, and the only other ones I can find for sale are the black covered ones that make it look as though you are writing for a funeral.) So thank you Mike for bringing color to my cold dreary life. (That’s you cue to take pity on me and send me more packages.)

Also, strangers randomly reading this blog, take note of my post address. If you want to send me some creepy secret admirer stuff (preferably of the coffee, chocolate or stationary variety, though gold, diamonds and cold hard cash are also welcome) I will share another unboxing post!

I only have a few more days before school starts so I need to get a crack on decorating my new planner… I mean reviewing my class syllabuses… yeah, I can’t even lie to myself! It’s sticker party with Landon’s Balls, leftover pizza and flat cola. Good times.

Love and miss you all.

Inga

Friday, May 4, 2021 SST (Wednesday, April 28th GST)

Hello Friends!

Time for another installment of My Weird Country: A Tradition that Needs to Die.

Today was one of those days where you stand around in various lines for hours only to be disappointed at the end of approximately 67.3% of them. Not only that, but at the end of the lines that do have a successful outcome, you are handed approximately 13.38 pounds of textbooks and literature that compound in weight every moment you stand in the next line waiting to see if you are going to be handed another stack of books or to be turned away. Yup, it was old school class sign up day.

Solíteir is quickly becoming a modern country. It’s been over 20 years since the end of sequestration and infrastructure (for the most part) has caught up. They got internet only ten years late and the phone lines are as modern as anywhere else in the world. But the University of Julianopolis (UJ) likes to keep things as they were… you know… in the dark ages, before human knew the earth revolved around the sun. Instead of signing up online or at least pre-registering to cut down wait time, everyone just hops in the line for the class that they are trying to take and hopes that it doesn’t fill up. However, they give you all necessary materials right then and there if you get into the class. Last year, I didn’t know how things worked and I looked like a total newbie having to carry my own weight in textbooks in my aching arms. This year, I not only brought my backpack, but my shopping trolly as well. I’m not saying that I filled up my shopping cart, but I’m not saying that it wasn’t almost spilling out either.

Now, a new installment: Life on UJ campus.

I am taking four classes and a science lab. A full to the brim schedule but I’m not taking it easy because I don’t want to waste time on sleep.

Chemistry 101 and Lab: I don’t really need this class because I technically passed my chemistry rotation when I was younger, but I was reviewing some of the concepts that we are supposed to be covering in Ecology this year and I realized I had forgotten a few key points, like what the difference between a molecule and an atom was. You know the little things…hehe, I’m a gas….I need to chill to 0 degrees Kelvin… Hahahah…. (That’s the stuff I really remember—the bad dad jokes Mr. Blank told. You know what I’m talking about.)

Cultural Ecology 301: This is my first advanced class that directly relates to my field of Study! I’m not entirely sure what we are going to be covering because I haven’t bothered to look at the syllabus yet. That’s future Inga’s problem.

Intro to Data Analysis: I think this is like statistics? I did get to meet two of my future class mates while waiting in line. (Yes, you read that right. I talked to my peer humans voluntarily.) Roger and Alice (who were in my College Math’s class last semester) were standing right in front of me talking about a news headline and a sudden burst of courage rose in me like water in a clogged toilet and I spilled out a comment. It went something like this.

Alice: Did you see that Prince James got his car towed again.

Roger: Again! How many times does this make it?

Alice: Twice just this month. Never heard of anyone still being allowed to drive after so many infractions.

Roger: I’m not saying being married to the Queen earns him special favors but If I had my car towed every few weeks, I would be in jail.

Alice: I always wondered if it was all a political stunt and he doesn’t actually suck at parking.

Me: I don’t think it’s a stunt. I work at the DMV and have had to review his record a few times. He’s been to traffic court three times. I sent him once.

(Now I’m regretting talking because I just realized that there would be more talking. Great.)

Roger: No way!

Alice: I thought he was playing it up for the attention since he’s only a prince. You know like in Landon’s Balls.

Me: Beg Pardon? (This must be some inside joke that was meant to toss me out of the conversation but I was too curious to step down.)

Alice: That doc. That was required in fourth year?

Me: *blinks*

Roger: Yeah, I think it’s called something like Millennium Dawn—A Royal Engagement in the New Age or something. Everyone just calls it Landon’s Balls.

Me: Like King Landon? It’s a movie about King Landon?

Alice: Yeah, its about the official courtship balls at the northern manor where James and Sarah lived and where Landon met Sarah…..? (He trailed off because I still looked clueless.)

Me: Never saw it. (I was really regretting this conversation. It pointed out to an obvious degree that I didn’t belong.)

Alice: Oh my God. You have to watch it. My secondary homeroom teacher made us watch it whenever she was hungover, for like, four years running. It became like a cult classic in my school. You know-adding lines that made everything funnier, throwing things at the screen when the food fight starts ….

Me: Is it good?

Roger: No. But that’s why it’s amazing.

At this point we had finally reached the front of the line and Alice turned to signing up for the class. Roger grabbed a scratch of paper and wrote his and Alice’s names and the name of the documentary. “Find me when class starts and let me know if you liked it. I’ve never met anyone who can give an impartial review.” Roger gave me the note and turned to sign up for classes. I didn’t talk to them again but I did wave to Alice as she was leaving. It was a little awkward but the sooner I make new friends, the sooner I can get everyone off my backs who call me lonely and depressed. Poor Alice and Roger. They don’t really get a say in whether or not I’m their new friend, but I ship it.

Anyways, the last class I’m signed up for is Modern Solíteir Literature: 1990 to the Present. I have to take a humanities or literature class every single semester. That’s one of the weird things about this country. Every one reads and tells stories all the time. It’s not just those who actively practice Julainism, but everyone. It’s almost more cultural than religious. Apparently, they also watch horrible documentaries in school all the time too. If I want to assimilate into my new country, then I must become one of them.

On the way home, I stopped at the Library to get the movie but couldn’t remember the exact title of the documentary so I asked Jeremy, the librarian, if they had a copy of Landon’s Balls and without even giggling (which is more than I can say) he directed me to the DVDs. They didn’t have one copy. They had like 100 copies of the 4 hour, two part torture session. (Jeremy’s words, not mine.)

It’s now Friday night and I’m going to do what all twenty-somethings do on a Friday night. I’m going to order a pizza, drink a pint of cola and pretend I’m drunk or 15 (or whatever you do to get through an awes fully school movie) and watch Landon’s Balls. I’ll let you know how it goes. Until then, I love and miss you all.

Inga

Sunday, May 6, 2021 S.S.

(Or as the rest of the world sees it, Friday, April 28, 2021)

Good afternoon, everyone!

       I just realized you might not be reading this in the afternoon. However, I’ve also decided that I don’t care. It’s afternoon for me, and so I shall greet you thus.

       I don’t start school for another two weeks, so I don’t have much to talk about. In addition, I’m not working today, and I don’t have anywhere to go. Whenever this happens I typically head down the rabbit hole of the internet.

       It started today while setting up my new planner for school. I needed to find a calendar conversion. (For those of you who don’t know, Solíteir has a different calendar than the rest of the world.). I needed to know if this is a leap year (it’s not) and I made the mistake of looking at the history of why the changes were made to the calendar. So, instead of me telling you how I am, I’m going to teach a little history. You can infer how I’m doing from that. Good Luck.

Today’s topic is My Weird New Country:  The Calendar

       Have you ever looked at the seven days of the week and thought, ‘Ugh, that’s just too many days’? Well, in 1429 Harold Finfast did and he went to his friend King Edmund the Wise and convinced him to drop a day from each week.  Not that they needed to rename the days of the week, or they should take a good hard look at the calendar to make some logical improvements. He simply didn’t like Wednesdays. So out they went. To correct the number of days in a year they went to 60 weeks per year instead of 52.

       Okay, that’s fine. It’s a five-day work week with one day off for temple worship. But then, in 1531, there was a solar eclipse. The whole country freaked out for about four hours, and the results were less than rational.  In the aftermath, King Gustave the IV declared God was angry with the people. Thus, they must have a week of repentance. No work or commerce was to be conducted for five days. On the sixth day a new year would begin. (Apparently that’s all it would take for everyone to be perfectly pious…. Let’s see how that turned out.)  This “Holy Week” is still celebrated every winter for five days (or six days during a leap year) with the last day being New Year’s Eve. While it’s still referred to as Holy Week, the official term is the Inter Annum.

       Yes, you read that correctly. There are five days between one year and the next that are not part of either year. They have their own counting system which started in 1531. So, at the end of this year, 2021, we will have the five days of IA 490. When it’s a leap year, like it will be in 2024, they don’t add it to February. They just have an extra day of Inter Annum that way each year has exactly the same number of days. (Which I think, rather begrudgingly, is easy to remember.)

       As the Great Reformation of the 1650s blossomed, so did the amazing thinker and man who required too much control over his environment, Eric Pelton. (Most of you know him as the father of that beastly grade school torture known as Abstract Maths.) Mr. Pelton looked at the calendar and decided it wasn’t enough to just get rid of Wednesdays or to add time in-between the years. There needed to be order and logic, and it didn’t matter if it threw commerce and rational thought out the window. He convinced the Ministry of Science that each month should contain exactly 30 days, the year 60 weeks, and the Inter Annum would end with a leap day as necessary. Fine, whatever.

       But it wasn’t enough to just change the length of the months (because let’s face it, most of the people were not literate enough to know that April had 30 days while May had 31) no, he insisted that the Inter Annum should start on a significant day, like the Winter Solstice…ish. The poor guy couldn’t catch a break. Depending on where you are in the world or even in the country, the solstice technically happens at different times during different planet rotations. So, in Equestria it’s usually on the 20^th of December, but it might be on the 21^st or, even in rare cases, the 19^th.

       Eric Pelton couldn’t handle the variations, so he decreed that the equinoxes and solstices would occur on the same date every year, regardless of when the actual astrological shift occurred. His reasoning? “God abides by order and logic and not by the whimsy of nature.” And that is a direct quote from his essay, “The Divine Nature of Clock and Calendar.” (Available now at your local Library….Yeah, that rabbit hole I fell down included a trip the library for more research. Sue me.)

       If you have made it this far into the dry topic of calendars … Congratulations! But you probably wonder what this has to do with anything. Well, in Equestria, where I was born, we follow Global Standard Time. I was born on Wednesday, March 6, 1998, but in Solíteir I was born on Saturday, March 11^th of the same year.

       So, let’s say a baby is born on February 29^th, 2004 G.S. (which is a leap day in the standard calendar.) In Solíteir, they would no longer have to choose to celebrate their birthday February 28^th or March 1^{st ,} and not just because February has 30 days, but because the day of their birth is March 6^th in Solíteir. (The proper day to celebrate a leap day birthday is March 1^st and I will die on that hill.)  However, if you were born on December 26, 1996 in Equestria, then you would suddenly have a leap day birthday in Solíteir, and your birth date would be Inter Annum 465, Day 6 – the Fools day.

       If you never interact with the outside world, then this is all fine and dandy. But for me, or for anyone who communicates with anyone in the outside world, it’s a pain in the butt.  Now that I think about it, maybe Solíteir just swapped one version of confusion for another. Why can’t we all just use the same version of confusion? Does Solíteir really need to be special in this along with everything else? (I made the mistake of asking Jeremy, the librarian who helped me find the correct Pelton Essay, and he had several rude words to say about the Global Standard Calendar and how illogical it was. According to him, yes Solíteir really does need to be special because he is special and he lives there. I just nodded my head…. Yes…Special.)

       This blog (along with the entire internet) automatically uses the global standard, but I have to date these posts with the Solíteirian Standard (SS) so I don’t get confused. I once missed class because I was busy doing research online and thought it was Wednesday. I don’t have class on Wednesdays … because they don’t have Wednesdays! My poor planner has both date systems written in so I know what’s going on around the world as well as at home.

       I never thought that I would miss Wednesdays but I would trade my my whole kitchen for Solíteir to switch to Global Standard Time.

All My Love and all my Wednesdays,

Inga