Signing up for Summer Classes

Friday, May 4, 2021 SST (Wednesday, April 28th GST)

Hello Friends!

Time for another installment of My Weird Country: A Tradition that Needs to Die.

Today was one of those days where you stand around in various lines for hours only to be disappointed at the end of approximately 67.3% of them. Not only that, but at the end of the lines that do have a successful outcome, you are handed approximately 13.38 pounds of textbooks and literature that compound in weight every moment you stand in the next line waiting to see if you are going to be handed another stack of books or to be turned away. Yup, it was old school class sign up day.

Solíteir is quickly becoming a modern country. It’s been over 20 years since the end of sequestration and infrastructure (for the most part) has caught up. They got internet only ten years late and the phone lines are as modern as anywhere else in the world. But the University of Julianopolis (UJ) likes to keep things as they were… you know… in the dark ages, before human knew the earth revolved around the sun. Instead of signing up online or at least pre-registering to cut down wait time, everyone just hops in the line for the class that they are trying to take and hopes that it doesn’t fill up. However, they give you all necessary materials right then and there if you get into the class. Last year, I didn’t know how things worked and I looked like a total newbie having to carry my own weight in textbooks in my aching arms. This year, I not only brought my backpack, but my shopping trolly as well. I’m not saying that I filled up my shopping cart, but I’m not saying that it wasn’t almost spilling out either.

Now, a new installment: Life on UJ campus.

I am taking four classes and a science lab. A full to the brim schedule but I’m not taking it easy because I don’t want to waste time on sleep.

Chemistry 101 and Lab: I don’t really need this class because I technically passed my chemistry rotation when I was younger, but I was reviewing some of the concepts that we are supposed to be covering in Ecology this year and I realized I had forgotten a few key points, like what the difference between a molecule and an atom was. You know the little things…hehe, I’m a gas….I need to chill to 0 degrees Kelvin… Hahahah…. (That’s the stuff I really remember—the bad dad jokes Mr. Blank told. You know what I’m talking about.)

Cultural Ecology 301: This is my first advanced class that directly relates to my field of Study! I’m not entirely sure what we are going to be covering because I haven’t bothered to look at the syllabus yet. That’s future Inga’s problem.

Intro to Data Analysis: I think this is like statistics? I did get to meet two of my future class mates while waiting in line. (Yes, you read that right. I talked to my peer humans voluntarily.) Roger and Alice (who were in my College Math’s class last semester) were standing right in front of me talking about a news headline and a sudden burst of courage rose in me like water in a clogged toilet and I spilled out a comment. It went something like this.

Alice: Did you see that Prince James got his car towed again.

Roger: Again! How many times does this make it?

Alice: Twice just this month. Never heard of anyone still being allowed to drive after so many infractions.

Roger: I’m not saying being married to the Queen earns him special favors but If I had my car towed every few weeks, I would be in jail.

Alice: I always wondered if it was all a political stunt and he doesn’t actually suck at parking.

Me: I don’t think it’s a stunt. I work at the DMV and have had to review his record a few times. He’s been to traffic court three times. I sent him once.

(Now I’m regretting talking because I just realized that there would be more talking. Great.)

Roger: No way!

Alice: I thought he was playing it up for the attention since he’s only a prince. You know like in Landon’s Balls.

Me: Beg Pardon? (This must be some inside joke that was meant to toss me out of the conversation but I was too curious to step down.)

Alice: That doc. That was required in fourth year?

Me: *blinks*

Roger: Yeah, I think it’s called something like Millennium Dawn—A Royal Engagement in the New Age or something. Everyone just calls it Landon’s Balls.

Me: Like King Landon? It’s a movie about King Landon?

Alice: Yeah, its about the official courtship balls at the northern manor where James and Sarah lived and where Landon met Sarah…..? (He trailed off because I still looked clueless.)

Me: Never saw it. (I was really regretting this conversation. It pointed out to an obvious degree that I didn’t belong.)

Alice: Oh my God. You have to watch it. My secondary homeroom teacher made us watch it whenever she was hungover, for like, four years running. It became like a cult classic in my school. You know-adding lines that made everything funnier, throwing things at the screen when the food fight starts ….

Me: Is it good?

Roger: No. But that’s why it’s amazing.

At this point we had finally reached the front of the line and Alice turned to signing up for the class. Roger grabbed a scratch of paper and wrote his and Alice’s names and the name of the documentary. “Find me when class starts and let me know if you liked it. I’ve never met anyone who can give an impartial review.” Roger gave me the note and turned to sign up for classes. I didn’t talk to them again but I did wave to Alice as she was leaving. It was a little awkward but the sooner I make new friends, the sooner I can get everyone off my backs who call me lonely and depressed. Poor Alice and Roger. They don’t really get a say in whether or not I’m their new friend, but I ship it.

Anyways, the last class I’m signed up for is Modern Solíteir Literature: 1990 to the Present. I have to take a humanities or literature class every single semester. That’s one of the weird things about this country. Every one reads and tells stories all the time. It’s not just those who actively practice Julainism, but everyone. It’s almost more cultural than religious. Apparently, they also watch horrible documentaries in school all the time too. If I want to assimilate into my new country, then I must become one of them.

On the way home, I stopped at the Library to get the movie but couldn’t remember the exact title of the documentary so I asked Jeremy, the librarian, if they had a copy of Landon’s Balls and without even giggling (which is more than I can say) he directed me to the DVDs. They didn’t have one copy. They had like 100 copies of the 4 hour, two part torture session. (Jeremy’s words, not mine.)

It’s now Friday night and I’m going to do what all twenty-somethings do on a Friday night. I’m going to order a pizza, drink a pint of cola and pretend I’m drunk or 15 (or whatever you do to get through an awes fully school movie) and watch Landon’s Balls. I’ll let you know how it goes. Until then, I love and miss you all.

Inga